Questions We Get a Lot
Mostly from concerned parents and one very confused pirate.
Is scurvy still a thing?
Technically yes. Emotionally, we'd prefer if it weren't.
Are you an actual medical organization?
Absolutely not. This website is satire. Please consult real medical professionals for actual health advice. But also maybe eat an orange once in a while.
What fruits count as anti-scurvy?
Approved: oranges, lemons, limes, grapefruits, kiwis, strawberries. Unapproved: gummy worms, Mountain Dew, the green Skittle, vibes.
Can pirates join?
Of course. In fact, they are our historical consultants.
Does my $5.99 actually buy anyone an orange?
No. We are an awareness organization, not a grocery service. Your dollars fund pamphlets, dramatic emails, and our founder's growing collection of citrus-themed mugs.
I just clicked 'donate' as a joke. Was I charged?
Not yet. We haven't actually wired up payments. When we do, we'll warn you first. Probably.
My roommate refuses to take the quiz. What do I do?
Leave a single lime on his pillow each night for one week. If he eats it, you've succeeded. If he doesn't, escalate to grapefruit.
Is it 'scurvy' or 'the scurvy'?
Both are correct. 'The scurvy' is preferred for dramatic effect, particularly when whispered to a teenager who has been ignoring you.
What if I already eat fruit?
First of all, congratulations, show-off. Second, you can still donate to help those less citrus-literate than yourself.
Why is the homepage timer always at four hours?
Scurvy is always four hours away from claiming another victim. Sorry, we don't make the rules.